RAISINGDAD

Dad’s New Dog

Moving forward can be noisy

Posted

My father’s best friend recently left us for that great boneyard in the sky. After a short period of mourning, he told us he wanted to adopt a new one.

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

I campaigned against it, but found I was outvoted when the mail-in ballots were counted. I didn’t want to accuse anyone of anything, but it looked suspiciously like election fraud to me.

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

“I’ll help him take care of it,” my grandson swore on a stack of pancakes.

More and more, there was reason to suspect this election had been rigged.

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

“Please, Grandpa," my granddaughter asked, hugging me tight, her eyes all googly and stuff. "I love it already.”

I could see there would be no recount.

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

One trip to the pound later, and a new puppy was inaugurated into our family.

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

That night, I was upstairs watching TV. 

 Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

My father was supposed to be taking care of his new puppy, but I wasn’t so sure.

The constant barking was driving me nuts. I looked at my wife in bed next to me. She was trying to read but couldn't concentrate. The puppy’s barking was driving her nuts as well, but she was pretending it wasn't.

My grandson was nowhere to be found.

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

I finally got up to see what the problem was.

“You’d better not tell your father anything,” my beautiful but bossy wife warned me on my way out.

“I’ll do what I want,” I told her, wisely abbreviating it into an “Okay.”

I was expecting to find the new puppy by itself, left all alone.

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

Instead, I found it sitting by my father.

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

Barking at nothing.

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

And for no reason.

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

 "Heh, heh," my father chuckled, giving me a what-can-I-do? look. 

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!  Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

 "He likes to bark," he explained.

My life just keeps getting better and better.

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

"Crazy dog," he said, and gave his new best friend an affectionate pat on the head. 

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

That dog better pray my father sticks around.

  

Did you see the hot dog movie? It was an Oscar Wiener. theduchenebrothers@gmail.com; @JimDuchene