Changing Your Mind
The Heartsong Center offers a tune-up for your brain

Crap Shoot
New Mexico's multimillion-dollar bet on legal gambling

Salsa Days
The night the lights went out on Jessie's Café

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Our reporter takes alcohol servers' training

The Songs of the Land
Modern-day Apache Joe Saenz teaches ancient lessons


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About the cover

  D e s e r t   E x p o s u r e   January 2009

Desert Diary

Page: 2


Next up is Old Grumps:

"Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a Texaco gasoline station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she couldn't wait until it was returned.

"Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.

"As Sister Mary Ann was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptists watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, 'If it starts, I'm turning Catholic.'"

Dying to add your own story to the, er, march of the penguins? Send your jokes, anecdotes, puns and musings — nun but the best, please! — to Desert Diary, PO Box 191, Silver City, NM 88062, fax 534-4134 or email diary@desertexposure.com.



Postcards from the edge. . . This month's reader photo comes from Sharleen Daugherty, who writes: "Lynn and I returned from a three-week stay in Ecuador and Peru. We were on a tour with Natural Habitat that began in Quito, Ecuador. After touring the surrounding countryside, we flew to the Galapagos Islands and spent nine days on a small yacht exploring the various islands. On returning to Quito, we flew to Lima, Peru, and then to Cuzco to board a train that traveled through the Sacred Valley to the town of Aguas Calientes at the foot of Machu Picchu. We opted not to hike into the ruins on the Inca Trail, but traveled by bus up to the Machu Picchu Sanctuary. Here we took the picture holding a copy of the Desert Exposure. It was a great trip!"


Diary Pic: Peru



Whether you're traveling halfway around the world or on a weekend getaway, take us along on your next trip and send home a snapshot of yourself holding "the biggest little paper in the Southwest." Send to Desert Diary, PO Box 191, Silver City, NM 88062, or by email to diary@desertexposure.com



The future isn't what it used to be. . . In honor of the New Year, we take a backward look at what looking forward was like back in the mid-1950s, courtesy of Jess Hossinaround in Arenas Valley, who says, "I can remember older people making many of these statements when I was a kid."

"I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20.

"Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2,000 will only buy a used one.

"Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging 10 cents just to mail a letter?

"If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.

"When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.

"I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now.

"It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet. It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.

"I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.

"The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.

"There is no sense going on short trips anymore for a weekend, when it costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel.

"If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it!"

Good help is hard to find. . . Speaking of the minimum wage, there's this little economics lesson sent in by JackB:

"The maid asked for a raise. The wife was very upset about this and asked, 'Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?'

"Maria: 'Well, there are three reasons why I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you.'

"Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me?'

"Maria: 'Your husband said so.'

"Wife: 'Oh.'

"Maria: 'The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.'

"Wife: 'Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?'

"Maria: 'Your husband did.'

"Wife: 'Oh.'

"Maria: 'My third reason is that I am a better lover than you.'

"Wife (really furious now): 'Did my husband say that as well?'

"Maria: 'No, the gardener did.'

"She got the raise."

Annals of inebriation. . . And finally, if you're still hung over from New Year's Eve, you'll especially appreciate this story from Toni in the Vet's Office:

"A man and his wife are awakened at 3 a.m. by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door, where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. 'Not a chance,' says the husband. 'It's 3 in the morning!' He slams the door and returns to bed.

"'Who was that?' asks his wife.

"'Just some drunk guy asking for a push,' he answers.

"'Did you help him?' she asks.

"'No, I did not. It is 3 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!'

"'Well, you have a short memory,' says his wife. 'Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and two guys helped us out? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!'

"The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, 'Hello, are you still there?'

"'Yes,' comes back the answer.

"'Do you still need a push?' calls out the husband.

"'Yes, please!' comes the reply from the dark.

"'Where are you?' asks the husband.

"'Over here on the swing,' replies the drunk."

Send your favorite jokes, puns and ponderings to: Desert Diary, PO Box 191, Silver City, NM 88062, fax 534-4134, email diary@desertexposure.com Remember, the best submission each month gets a highly collectible Desert Exposure coffee mug — while they last!



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